cold day in february...

one of the last things i did before leaving college park...i ran across the photos today. it was the coldest day ever and the longest line ever, but hey, it was worth it!

what can i say...

what a night. what a night. such excitement. i've been mourning hillary for months, but it was a natural choice when i was standing in the booth. i felt good about it too. it was a monumental night, and it's a monumental day here in the office. all smiles.

mineral bath/i wanna get out of here...

i spent a quick couple of days in saratoga springs new york this week/weekend for a conference with my co-workers. we were all really excited about the prospect of our adventure...we found out it was being hosted by a "resort and spa." we checked out the spa menu months ago and scheduled our treatments excitedly, each of us deciding to have a mineral bath. the website says, "Discover the Roosevelt Baths' hydrotherapy spa-one of the only places on Earth where gravity can be lifted away from you, taking with it your worries, aches and pains." awesome, right?

i was transported to my "bath room" by jackie. the room was closet-like with a large, deep, brown stained tub in the corner. the room was covered in sterile white subway tile. there was a pillow/towel on the back of the tub and a white robe on the chair. she added lavender oil to my bath and told me i had 20 minutes. at the end of 20 minutes, she would return with a warm towel. she rattled off a bunch of other incomprehensible directions then asked me if i had any questions. i said, "ok. so i get in there (pointing at the brown water) and then in 20 minutes, you come back, right?" "right." i hesitantly plunged my feet into the 3 foot deep brown water, hoping nothing was going to bite me. the water was hot, though, i remembered her saying something about 97 degrees. once my whole body was in, i rested my head on the pillow and thought, "this isn't so bad for brown water." effervescent bubbles swirled around my limbs and up my back. about five minutes or less went by.

suddenly, at the end of the five minutes, i completely started to lose it. i sat up and down, up and down sweating profusely. then i started standing up and down, up and down trying to cool off. i felt faint...the stars were coming. i had a talk with myself, "seriously, are you so stressed out that you can't even relax in a bath of warm water and lavender for 20 minutes?! what the hell is wrong with you (me)?!" i talked myself down for oh, about 2 more minutes. all the while i'm thinking, "why the hell didn't jackie just leave me a fucking towel so that i could get out when i wanted to?" then, i started looking around the room more, speculating as to the "spas" former life. rehabilitation center? old person home? psycho ward? ahhhh! i was freaking out!

i started counting to see how much longer i had before jackie showed up with my warm (ew) towel. right as i was on the brink, she came in. i lept out of the tub to dry myself off. i started to stumble, but caught myself on the wall before i went down. i dried myself off as fast as i could and wrapped up in the robe. i sat on the chair still questioning myself, wondering what was wrong with me.

i met my co-workers at the end of a very long hall. "did you love it?" one of them said? i told her i was really overheated so i wasn't sure yet. she told me she was going to take a trip into the steam room. "where's mary?" i asked. they told me that she had gone for a walk outside. i was surprised b/c outside it was roughly 40 degrees.

when we finally found mary, she asked what i thought. i told her i was really hot and didn't enjoy it very much. i just left it at that. but then, what was this? she disclosed her entire experience back to me and it was EXACTLY the same as mine. we swapped "crazy" thoughts..."i though, am i really such a stressed, put upon woman that i can't relax in a tub for a half an hour?" i told her that was my EXACT thought.

needless to say, we found out later that the hotel and grounds were haunted. odd smells appeared out of nowhere and the presence in the hallways was uncanny. i got on the elevator with a woman the next morning who said to me, "can i ask you an odd question? do you think this place is haunted?" ummmm, YEAH.

chicago...

chicago was absolutely incredible this time around. i've really enjoyed it the other handful of times i've been there, but this time, this time was amazing.

it's incredible to me that women feel safe jogging through the park and on the streets alone. even at dusk. i can't even fathom that feeling as a jaded baltimoron. at the football game, i was completely shocked when 1. our new friends asked if we needed anything when they went to make a bathroom run and 2. left their purse and purchased merchandise in the seat. i figured maybe they just wanted us to watch it for them, but then later in the game, discovered that the neighbors behind us left their purse and bags and the people in front of us did the same! really!? i don't even leave my purse alone at my desk! the amazing mid-west. crazy.

everyone we encountered was so nice and friendly too. i had to ask the woman at the gate at least 10 times "do you agree to the pat down policy?" i finally said, "i am so sorry. i have no idea what you're saying to me." it sounded more like "meah deawn" spoken through the nose. so thick of an accent, i was lost. she laughed though! in baltimore, i would have been given a pat down alright!

the streets are spotless too. you could eat off of them, honestly. i would feel totally comfortable walking around barefooted. there wasn't a single item of litter to be found. and the planters...my god! huge planters up and down every few feet of michigan avenue. just amazing. walking home late one night, there were city employees pruning the planters. they said they always work at night so that the planters always look good during the day. just incredible.

so how do they do it? well, i'm guessing it has a lot to do with taxes. here we were a few moths ago bitching about an increase from 5.5% to 6%. get a load of this. state tax is 11.9%. if you're within city limits, tack on an additional 4%. as if nearly 16% tax isn't enough, think twice about that beer. it's going to cost you an EXTRA $.10 on the dollar in liquor tax. wow. what a way of life though. i'd pay more for comfort, freedom and beauty. doubt the rest of the state would though!

priorities...

i need to get my priorities straight. though i need the money from the freelancing, i'm finding that it's truly taking a toll on me. there's work, there's teaching and there's freelance. three separate entities.

work is work. i come in, i do my job. i love doing this job and am taking every opportunity i can get my hands on here.

i love teaching as well. i have such a great time by myself working on my planning for class. it's so easy for me to get into and i really take the planning and organizing overboard, perfecting every element. it makes me feel like a kid again. honestly, i played teacher and grading constantly when i was little. while my students are no longer stuffed, i still get the same rush.

freelancing. i enjoy freelancing for theatre. it's funny how i can come home and turn on the computer and dive right into a theatre postcard, but anything outside of that is very hard to get into. but, again, the money. i really really want to pay these bills off. i feel like i'm struggling right now, but who isn't? maybe i'll give it until january 1. though, my resolution last january 1 was to quit freelancing and here i am, still bitching about freelancing. maybe i'll raise my rates and see who stays. for as long as i've been doing this, i still feel totally new at it.

and this doesn't even address how i've been neglecting my family (and their graphics needs) or my body and mind.

as i said, i need to get my priorities straight.

cubicle life...

yesterday celebrated the 40th anniversary of the inventor of the cubicle. the announcer stated that you either love or loathe yours. here are my thoughts...

when i had a desk that was out in the middle of the open room, i though, "if i could only have a cubicle, what a wonderful life it would be."

then i got a cubicle. it was a cubicle with a window. not a window to the outside world, a window where people could look in on me! i was on display, like some kind of animatronic robot at christmas. people would mime at me (it was in the theatre department), swim up to me and ask me for "10 on pump 5." i hated it. i had not door so people would knock on the file cabinet on the edge of the "room" or simply walk up to the opening and say "knock knock." AHHHHAAHHH!!!!

then i got my first real office. with a door. i decorated it and made it a home away from home. it was comfortable. if i needed to make a call, i closed the door. if i had a meeting, i could have people over to my place. too bad it was 40 miles away from home.

now i'm back in a cubicle. i smell what my neighbors eat for breakfast, lunch and sometimes dinner. i hear their music. i hear their telephone conversations. i hear their meetings. i hear them make doctors appointments. i hear their arguments with their husbands and wives. there's no escape. people say "knock knock" to me again. i can't make personal calls. i can't have meetings, which is really challenging as a supervisor!

i'd say i'm on the loathe side of the fence.

huge geek...

i'm constantly wondering what it is i'm a pro at...i feel like i'm good at a few things, but a real pro, only maybe one or two things. we went to see the breeders last night. i will go to pretty much any and all lengths to see kim deal, my (music) idol since the 9th grade. the show was one day after the deal twin's 47th birthday. the 9:30 club was full of balding men and women who looked like me complete with pig tails and rimmed glasses. the very first time i saw kim perform live was at the American University in DC with nirvana. that dates me right there. but, holy shit, what an amazing time to be an angst ridden teenager. in any case, my friends an i pushed our way up to the stage to be closer to her, braving "the pit" and hanging on to each other for dear life. after that first time, i saw her with the pixies (reunion only) three times and with both the breeders and the amps at the 9:30 club, rise, fletcher's in baltimore, the ottobar, lolapaloza in west virginia, and a couple of other random DC locations.

i've only met her once, which was at the baltimore show at fletcher's. a group of friends an i were (again) hanging on for dear life at the front of the stage. she leaned over to us and said, "when was the last time you were able to make it to the bar?" we told her we hadn't moved all night. she said, "give me a second," and came back with a case of beer. she distributed them to the front row, handing me one and apologizing that we had to wait so long to get a drink. who does that?! honestly?! i think that's something extra that makes her so special. she's totally and completely unaware that people idolize her. a few years after that, my band, five gold stars, did a tour of boston. we played at the middle east with frank black and i had the pleasure(?) of meeting him after the shows were over. he was a very odd man. again, totally unaware that people worship him. at least, when he told me and my bandmate, Pat, about how he had to take his shirt off to mow his lawn earlier that day because of the heat (ew) i assumed it. either that or he was trying to gross us out.

in any case, back to my original point, i am a total kim deal geek. i was able to tell eric what year each song came out, titles, albums, what kim and kelley were doing at that point in their lives, what i was doing at the time the song came out, who wrote the song, what each of their pedals and microphones do, i've never felt so geeky! why do i have this useless knowledge? and why can't i apply it to something that will make me money? ha!

it was a great night, nonetheless. even despite the fact that i felt like only about 10 of our 30+ year old bodies were moving...and most of the people there brought their kids with them.

here's a photo from the 2002 show at the ottobar which was a few days before my birthday!